Last month I finally turned 18. Yay! But becoming 18 inevitably brings up questions. How am I going to live my life, what do I want to do as a job and even more existential questions like who am I and who do I want to be, why do I even live and what do I want to achieve.
I thought a lot about questions like that, maybe not completely focused but the question ‘what do I want to do with my life?’ is always in the back of my mind. And during the process of thinking about that question, I had different views on my life. Different hopes and different prospects. Sometimes, when I am pessimistic I think that my life will be just average. And I mean the bad average, the lethargic and lethal kind of average. An average 9-to-5 job, an average house in an average small town. I fear thinking big because then the chances of being disappointed are higher. And that’s possibly even true. The average life is not called average life because only a few are ‘trapped in it’, it is called the average life because most lead it. And I don’t want to say that they are not happy or anything like that, I just feel like it isn’t for me. It’s possible that I will think about that differently in a few months or years, it’s possible that I will want to have an average life in a cute suburb, who knows.
But I think at this age, I should not strive for an average life. I should strive for my dreams. Just today I read an article about digital nomads that travel around the world and work from wherever they want to. That sounds amazing, maybe I will study politics and travel around the world to write articles and stories about it. Or I will work at one place, for example at an NGO. Or I will study computer science and I will work on a project that I think will improve someones live. Or maybe I will have an super average 9-to-5 job which seems completely boring but which I think is fun and gives me purpose. I don’t know yet. But what I know is, that I have to stop thinking small and being fearful, I have to force myself to think big, because that gives me motivation and a bigger goal. It gives me courage. I guess I have to shoot for the moon and eventually I’ll land among the stars, to sound super cheesy. And I know that this quote is way too romanticizing and can not portray the complexity and shittyness (shittieness?) of reality, where a lot of people shoot for the moon and just end up in crushing darkness. But I know that. I just plan for the worst and hope for the best.
Okay, I’m sorry. This post is slowly turning into an disgusting life guide, but hey, with this topic it’s nearly unavoidable not to end with some corny conclusions. But maybe you have to be corny sometimes in order to find some courage and hope. Well, I hope you liked it either way. Have a good time!